1
00:00:02,692 --> 00:00:06,059
Police say late last night,
they apprehended Rodney Gullivan,

2
00:00:06,128 --> 00:00:08,892
and found a gun and narcotics in his truck.

3
00:00:08,998 --> 00:00:11,831
He was charged with possession
and assault on his fiancee,

4
00:00:11,901 --> 00:00:14,597
and she is in the hospital recovering tonight.

5
00:00:14,837 --> 00:00:17,829
Meanwhile, another woman
was sexually assaulted by Benjamin Braider

6
00:00:17,907 --> 00:00:19,101
of Indianapolis.

7
00:00:19,175 --> 00:00:22,975
The unidentified woman suffered
a broken rib and a split lip.

8
00:00:23,179 --> 00:00:25,170
She's in stable condition tonight.

9
00:00:25,247 --> 00:00:27,681
Well, that's it for sports. Chuck.

10
00:00:30,686 --> 00:00:32,278
<i>Crazy crazy</i>

11
00:00:32,955 --> 00:00:34,252
<i>Does is crazy</i>

12
00:00:35,391 --> 00:00:37,450
<i>Make up for adjustment</i>

13
00:00:38,861 --> 00:00:41,796
<i>You jammin' on the verse</i>

14
00:00:42,698 --> 00:00:46,225
<i>First one's planned that you want to do</i>

15
00:00:46,602 --> 00:00:48,126
<i>All I want</i>

16
00:00:48,838 --> 00:00:52,205
<i>But I don't need you</i>

17
00:00:53,309 --> 00:00:56,437
KEY: When I was, um, I don't know,
I might've been 13 or something,

18
00:00:56,512 --> 00:00:58,605
I had a Willie Talk ventriloquist dummy.

19
00:00:58,681 --> 00:01:00,911
- Willie Talk?
- Willie Talk was his name.

20
00:01:00,983 --> 00:01:03,349
That was... Have you ever seen those?

21
00:01:03,419 --> 00:01:05,944
He's got on, like, a white and red striped shirt,

22
00:01:06,055 --> 00:01:07,716
- and it says, "Willie Talk."
- Oh, my God.

23
00:01:07,790 --> 00:01:09,257
And he's got a plastic head, and he's like...

24
00:01:09,325 --> 00:01:10,587
<i>(MUMBLING)

25
00:01:10,659 --> 00:01:13,423
And just, like, a kind of standard-Iooking
ventriloquist dummy.

26
00:01:13,496 --> 00:01:14,895
They'd have these three types of dolls.

27
00:01:14,964 --> 00:01:17,455
There was, like, a Willie Talk, a Wilma Talk,

28
00:01:17,533 --> 00:01:19,194
- and then...
- Wilma Talk.

29
00:01:19,268 --> 00:01:22,362
- The girl version.
- But it doesn't make a pun.

30
00:01:22,438 --> 00:01:23,962
<i>(CHUCKLES) I know. I know.

31
00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:25,832
And then... Are you kidding me?

32
00:01:25,908 --> 00:01:27,239
You know what?
Can I just tell you something?

33
00:01:27,309 --> 00:01:28,333
I'm gonna admit something right now.

34
00:01:28,410 --> 00:01:29,900
Just got the pun right now.

35
00:01:31,547 --> 00:01:33,606
- Key...
- Just got the pun right now.

36
00:01:33,682 --> 00:01:35,650
I was so excited to get a Willie Talk

37
00:01:35,718 --> 00:01:38,915
'cause my grandpa's...
My grandpa's name was Willie.

38
00:01:38,988 --> 00:01:43,118
And my mom said, "Look,
a ventriloquist dummy's named after your...

39
00:01:43,192 --> 00:01:45,092
- "After your grandpa."
- Dude.

40
00:01:45,161 --> 00:01:46,890
I... Oh, no, I'm 43.

41
00:01:46,962 --> 00:01:48,623
- I got it right now.
- Okay, okay.

42
00:01:48,697 --> 00:01:51,188
I'm like, "Oh, will he..." What?

43
00:01:56,272 --> 00:01:57,398
Good morning.

44
00:01:58,707 --> 00:02:01,733
Uh, Clive "Double Down" Ruggins,

45
00:02:02,211 --> 00:02:03,701
I'm Daniel Tate.

46
00:02:03,779 --> 00:02:06,111
I am your parole officer,

47
00:02:06,949 --> 00:02:08,246
and I just want to help you.

48
00:02:08,317 --> 00:02:10,217
How the hell you supposed to help me, man?

49
00:02:10,286 --> 00:02:14,279
What the fuck you know about the streets,
what with your diplomas on the wall?

50
00:02:15,090 --> 00:02:16,284
Settle down.

51
00:02:16,358 --> 00:02:20,385
I know that you might not
be able to relate to me,

52
00:02:20,930 --> 00:02:24,889
but I think I know somebody

53
00:02:25,067 --> 00:02:26,932
who you can relate to.

54
00:02:28,404 --> 00:02:30,804
- Little Homie.
- What up?

55
00:02:30,873 --> 00:02:34,274
What up? It's my favorite Clive.

56
00:02:34,343 --> 00:02:37,335
- (LAUGHS) What up, dude?
- Nah, dog, listen.

57
00:02:37,413 --> 00:02:39,938
Hey, man,
I ain't trying to talk to no puppet, man.

58
00:02:40,115 --> 00:02:44,848
It's not a puppet. It's Little Homie,
and I would like for you to talk to him, Clive.

59
00:02:45,354 --> 00:02:48,721
See, I used to work
in the juvenile correction systems,

60
00:02:48,791 --> 00:02:51,851
and I found this method very effective.

61
00:02:51,927 --> 00:02:54,225
I ain't no juvenile, man, okay?

62
00:02:54,296 --> 00:02:57,424
He's right. Does he look like a kid to you?

63
00:02:57,499 --> 00:02:59,660
Come on! He's a grown-ass man.

64
00:02:59,735 --> 00:03:01,134
See? What?

65
00:03:01,770 --> 00:03:04,796
Look, it's very important

66
00:03:04,907 --> 00:03:08,308
for your parole that you talk to Little Homie.

67
00:03:11,447 --> 00:03:12,709
What's up, Little Homie?

68
00:03:12,815 --> 00:03:16,512
<i>(LAUGHS) That's better, my negrumps.

69
00:03:16,752 --> 00:03:21,815
Heh, what you getting into these days, man?
What it is? What it is? You got a job yet?

70
00:03:23,492 --> 00:03:26,928
<i>(SIGHS) I'm trying, man,
but no one will hire me.

71
00:03:26,996 --> 00:03:30,591
Yeah, hey, fuck all that noise, man.

72
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:33,734
Between you and me, man,

73
00:03:33,802 --> 00:03:36,498
ain't nobody trying to hire
a nigga with a record.

74
00:03:36,839 --> 00:03:39,399
But hey, man, what you need to be doing

75
00:03:39,475 --> 00:03:43,036
is get back into some crimes, mang.

76
00:03:43,779 --> 00:03:46,009
<i>(STAMMERS) What's going on, man?

77
00:03:46,081 --> 00:03:48,606
- Are you talking to me?
- Yeah.

78
00:03:48,684 --> 00:03:50,879
Well, you should be talking
to Little Homie right now.

79
00:03:50,953 --> 00:03:52,716
- What is going on?
- Yeah, bitch!

80
00:03:52,788 --> 00:03:53,914
Talk to me!

81
00:03:53,989 --> 00:03:55,547
Look at me when I'm talking to you!

82
00:03:55,624 --> 00:03:57,216
Okay, okay, fine.

83
00:03:57,293 --> 00:03:58,419
<i>(PANTING)

84
00:04:00,062 --> 00:04:01,256
Damn!

85
00:04:02,531 --> 00:04:04,829
So, you smoking weed, nigga?

86
00:04:04,900 --> 00:04:08,631
No, man. No, no, Little Homie.
I'm done with drugs.

87
00:04:08,704 --> 00:04:10,171
<i>(LAUGHS)

88
00:04:10,239 --> 00:04:12,537
Shit. I got something.

89
00:04:12,608 --> 00:04:14,974
Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh.

90
00:04:15,044 --> 00:04:18,343
Look at this here, negrumps.

91
00:04:18,881 --> 00:04:21,247
Smoke this weed.

92
00:04:21,317 --> 00:04:23,547
No, no, no, no, no, no, man.
I'm done, man. You hear me?

93
00:04:23,619 --> 00:04:25,917
I'm done with drugs. I ain't doing all that.

94
00:04:26,355 --> 00:04:27,822
I don't know.

95
00:04:28,290 --> 00:04:30,952
Little Homie seems pretty serious about that.

96
00:04:31,093 --> 00:04:32,082
Here.

97
00:04:32,561 --> 00:04:35,359
What? Look, I'm confused, man.
What do you want me to do here?

98
00:04:35,431 --> 00:04:39,231
Well, I want you to clean up your act,
but you're not talking to me right now.

99
00:04:39,301 --> 00:04:41,531
You're talking to Little Homie.

100
00:04:41,603 --> 00:04:43,594
Now smoke that shit

101
00:04:43,672 --> 00:04:46,368
or I'll smoke this bitch right here.

102
00:04:47,843 --> 00:04:48,832
DANIEL: Oh, God.

103
00:04:51,113 --> 00:04:52,978
He's not messing around.

104
00:04:53,048 --> 00:04:55,073
I think you better do what he says.

105
00:04:55,150 --> 00:04:56,879
Okay, all right. Little Homie, man.

106
00:04:56,952 --> 00:04:58,681
Just relax, man. Relax, Little Homie.

107
00:04:58,754 --> 00:05:01,518
Take it easy. I'm just...
I'm gonna smoke it down.

108
00:05:05,494 --> 00:05:09,225
Wait, wait, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
you can't fool me.

109
00:05:09,832 --> 00:05:11,697
You're trying to trick me, man.

110
00:05:12,201 --> 00:05:13,725
No, I'm done with the weed.

111
00:05:13,802 --> 00:05:14,791
<i>(GUNSHOT)

112
00:05:15,237 --> 00:05:16,261
Oh!

113
00:05:16,939 --> 00:05:18,270
<i>(CHUCKLES)

114
00:05:19,942 --> 00:05:21,307
Catch, nigga.

115
00:05:22,211 --> 00:05:23,371
<i>(LAUGHS)

116
00:05:28,183 --> 00:05:31,118
Dumbass!
Now your fingerprints is on the weapon!

117
00:05:31,353 --> 00:05:33,651
You in this with me now, right?

118
00:05:34,857 --> 00:05:36,324
Okay, Little Homie, yeah.

119
00:05:36,558 --> 00:05:37,547
Hmm.

120
00:05:39,428 --> 00:05:40,861
- Well...
- Oh! Oh!

121
00:05:50,105 --> 00:05:51,299
You failed the test.

122
00:05:52,508 --> 00:05:55,739
I have no choice but to revoke your parole.

123
00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:00,571
What? Oh, man.

124
00:06:00,649 --> 00:06:02,241
Ain't this about a bitch?

125
00:06:02,317 --> 00:06:04,114
On your feet, baby boy.

126
00:06:04,186 --> 00:06:05,653
- Get him out of here.
- Come on.

127
00:06:07,723 --> 00:06:10,715
I can't believe that negrumps
actually thought I killed you.

128
00:06:10,793 --> 00:06:11,817
I know, right?

129
00:06:12,728 --> 00:06:14,218
He's here. He's here.

130
00:06:14,296 --> 00:06:16,764
Come on, baby, come on. Get your sign.
Brandon, bring the camera.

131
00:06:16,832 --> 00:06:18,493
Come on. Let's go.

132
00:06:19,068 --> 00:06:21,161
Here you go. Hold it out.

133
00:06:21,870 --> 00:06:24,338
Hold it out right for Daddy,
so Daddy can see.

134
00:06:24,406 --> 00:06:25,430
Here you go.

135
00:06:26,842 --> 00:06:27,968
Rocky!

136
00:06:28,043 --> 00:06:30,375
Oh, my boy.

137
00:06:30,446 --> 00:06:32,311
- There's my boy.
- GIRL: He got me a teddy bear.

138
00:06:32,381 --> 00:06:33,939
WOMAN: He did bring you a teddy bear.

139
00:06:34,016 --> 00:06:35,677
MAN: Oh, my gosh, look at this.
Look at this good boy.

140
00:06:35,751 --> 00:06:37,446
Hey, hey, you want that?

141
00:06:37,519 --> 00:06:38,918
You want that toy? You want that toy?

142
00:06:38,987 --> 00:06:40,454
- You want that toy?
- GIRL: Why isn't he coming, Mommy?

143
00:06:40,522 --> 00:06:41,580
WOMAN: He's coming, he's coming.

144
00:06:41,657 --> 00:06:43,318
MAN: I love you so much, Rock.

145
00:06:43,392 --> 00:06:44,859
Oh, hey, let's go.

146
00:06:44,927 --> 00:06:46,155
Come on, boy.

147
00:06:46,228 --> 00:06:48,594
Good dog. Good dog. There we go.

148
00:06:48,664 --> 00:06:50,655
Oh, I missed you so much.

149
00:06:51,066 --> 00:06:52,795
That's my Rocky!

150
00:06:52,935 --> 00:06:54,402
That's my Rocky!

151
00:06:58,574 --> 00:07:00,474
PEELE: Who's your favorite actor all time?

152
00:07:00,542 --> 00:07:01,736
KEY: My favorite actor of all time?

153
00:07:01,810 --> 00:07:03,038
- PEELE: Still working today.
- Who's yours?

154
00:07:03,112 --> 00:07:04,272
Do you know yours off the top of your head?

155
00:07:04,346 --> 00:07:05,711
My favorite

156
00:07:06,582 --> 00:07:08,573
is probably

157
00:07:10,752 --> 00:07:11,741
you.

158
00:07:12,688 --> 00:07:15,088
- No, you can't do that.
- You're my favorite actor.

159
00:07:15,157 --> 00:07:16,146
No, no, no.

160
00:07:16,225 --> 00:07:17,988
What is yours, but seriously?

161
00:07:18,861 --> 00:07:19,987
Working, living.

162
00:07:21,130 --> 00:07:23,564
You know, don't...
And feel free to not say me.

163
00:07:23,632 --> 00:07:25,691
All I'm saying is you're my favorite actor.

164
00:07:25,767 --> 00:07:27,894
- Oh, my God.
- Who's your favorite actor?

165
00:07:29,238 --> 00:07:30,603
It shouldn't be that hard.

166
00:07:30,672 --> 00:07:32,333
It should be someone who just
comes off the top of your...

167
00:07:32,407 --> 00:07:33,999
You are. You are.

168
00:07:37,146 --> 00:07:38,204
Why?

169
00:07:40,516 --> 00:07:42,882
Like, what is it about my, I don't know...

170
00:07:42,951 --> 00:07:47,012
It's like a lot of the subtlety that you use when
you're performing. You know what I mean?

171
00:07:47,089 --> 00:07:50,320
Sometimes, there's, like,
a lot going on back here...

172
00:07:50,392 --> 00:07:51,359
Yeah, well, it's you know, it's...

173
00:07:51,426 --> 00:07:52,825
You can see what you're thinking.

174
00:07:52,895 --> 00:07:55,625
You want to put it in the back,
'cause if it's happening inside,

175
00:07:56,198 --> 00:07:57,790
you want the audience to feel it.

176
00:07:57,866 --> 00:07:59,731
You don't want 'em to see it.

177
00:08:00,169 --> 00:08:02,535
- Mmm-hmm, yup. Yup.
- Well, good answer.

178
00:08:02,604 --> 00:08:03,730
You know who else I like, though?

179
00:08:03,805 --> 00:08:05,067
I do like Robert De Niro a lot.

180
00:08:05,140 --> 00:08:07,005
- Nah, he's a hack.
- A lot of his early work.

181
00:08:07,075 --> 00:08:09,737
- He's bullshit.
- Really?

182
00:08:20,055 --> 00:08:21,920
- You guys see anything?
- Nothing yet.

183
00:08:22,558 --> 00:08:23,547
Okay.

184
00:08:26,562 --> 00:08:30,760
We'll wait until dark,
and then sneak back across the line and,

185
00:08:31,266 --> 00:08:32,563
rejoin our unit.

186
00:08:32,634 --> 00:08:34,067
<i>(DISTANT CREAKING)

187
00:08:34,136 --> 00:08:35,660
Did you guys hear something?

188
00:08:35,804 --> 00:08:37,465
<i>(MACHINE GUN FIRING)

189
00:08:44,313 --> 00:08:45,302
Oh, hell.

190
00:08:54,556 --> 00:08:57,616
These Americans
prove to be no obstacle at all.

191
00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,128
- Search the hotel.
- Yeah.

192
00:09:01,897 --> 00:09:04,661
You've done well to secure this position.

193
00:09:04,933 --> 00:09:07,629
That could bode well for promotion.

194
00:09:08,270 --> 00:09:11,933
Speaking of which, guess who
I saw at the market the other day.

195
00:09:12,307 --> 00:09:13,296
Who?

196
00:09:13,542 --> 00:09:15,271
Oh, I don't know, Adolf Hitler.

197
00:09:15,978 --> 00:09:17,411
I love Hitler.

198
00:09:17,479 --> 00:09:19,845
Who doesn't?
But you ever see him in person?

199
00:09:19,915 --> 00:09:21,780
PEELE: Oh, yeah, at the Nurnberg Rally.

200
00:09:21,850 --> 00:09:23,681
It was very inspirational.

201
00:09:23,752 --> 00:09:25,913
I know it was. I was there.
Everyone was there.

202
00:09:25,988 --> 00:09:29,617
But up close, it's a whole different thing.

203
00:09:29,825 --> 00:09:31,725
For instance, it was the weekend,

204
00:09:31,793 --> 00:09:34,626
and the little hairs had just
started to grow on the sides

205
00:09:34,696 --> 00:09:35,958
of the mustache, like this.

206
00:09:36,365 --> 00:09:39,061
So I walk up to Hitler, casual...

207
00:09:39,134 --> 00:09:41,466
<i>- Herr</i> Commandant...
- That's rude.

208
00:09:41,536 --> 00:09:42,969
I'm in the middle of a story.

209
00:09:43,038 --> 00:09:44,972
You're not interested
in a story about our <i>Fuhrer?</i>

210
00:09:45,040 --> 00:09:46,132
- Yeah, but...
- Okay, good.

211
00:09:46,208 --> 00:09:47,539
Eva was there as well.

212
00:09:47,876 --> 00:09:49,173
Taller than you think

213
00:09:49,244 --> 00:09:51,075
or Hitler's shorter, hard to say.

214
00:09:51,346 --> 00:09:54,782
But anyhoo, I'm buying some bread.

215
00:09:54,850 --> 00:09:56,977
- Hitler's buying some bread.
- Um, I must...

216
00:09:57,052 --> 00:09:59,646
So, I'm assuming you've got
a better Hitler story?

217
00:09:59,721 --> 00:10:02,417
- But no, but...
- Then maybe don't interrupt.

218
00:10:03,925 --> 00:10:06,655
- Yes, sir.
- So I give him a salute,

219
00:10:06,895 --> 00:10:09,261
and he gives me one of those
half-Hitler salutes, you know,

220
00:10:09,331 --> 00:10:10,992
- down, low, very cool.
- Right.

221
00:10:11,066 --> 00:10:12,192
- You know?
- Right.

222
00:10:12,267 --> 00:10:13,825
- Here's what you forget.
- Yeah.

223
00:10:14,136 --> 00:10:15,967
- He doesn't say <i>"Heil</i> Hitler."
- Uh-huh.

224
00:10:16,038 --> 00:10:17,027
- (FLY BUZZING)
- Isn't that funny?

225
00:10:17,105 --> 00:10:18,094
<i>(SLAP)

226
00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:20,467
- Ah! Herr Commandant...
- Oh, wait.

227
00:10:20,909 --> 00:10:24,777
I think maybe next time, I'll tell him how
uninterested you are in my story.

228
00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:26,279
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
- Is it a jealousy thing?

229
00:10:26,348 --> 00:10:27,906
- No, no, no.
- You know, I didn't meet Hitler

230
00:10:27,983 --> 00:10:29,007
to hurt your feelings.

231
00:10:29,084 --> 00:10:30,381
<i>(STAMMERS)

232
00:10:31,620 --> 00:10:33,178
Proceed, of course.

233
00:10:34,089 --> 00:10:35,283
So I say to Hitler,

234
00:10:35,357 --> 00:10:37,348
- "I've actually been quite busy."
- (WRAPPER CRINKLES)

235
00:10:37,426 --> 00:10:40,361
Hitler laughs, and then says,

236
00:10:40,762 --> 00:10:42,559
"You and me both."

237
00:10:42,631 --> 00:10:44,189
I mean, he's the <i>Fuhrer.</i>

238
00:10:44,266 --> 00:10:46,564
It's so funny because it's an understatement.

239
00:10:47,235 --> 00:10:49,066
I mean, he's super busy.

240
00:10:49,137 --> 00:10:52,106
- As Hitler was taking his leave of me...
- Okay, I have to interrupt you right now.

241
00:10:52,174 --> 00:10:54,199
Excuse me? During the cinema?

242
00:10:54,276 --> 00:10:55,971
The story has a build.

243
00:10:56,211 --> 00:10:58,975
But if you keep interrupting,
you kill the momentum.

244
00:10:59,147 --> 00:11:00,705
I'm trying to tell you

245
00:11:01,316 --> 00:11:03,341
that body is moving.

246
00:11:03,785 --> 00:11:06,276
That's ridiculous.
The Americans are all dead.

247
00:11:06,722 --> 00:11:09,953
But if it keeps you from interrupting
my awesome Hitler story,

248
00:11:10,525 --> 00:11:11,753
I'll prove it to you.

249
00:11:11,827 --> 00:11:13,624
Yes, sir. Very good, sir.

250
00:11:50,332 --> 00:11:54,462
Wow. I'll never get used
to those final death throes.

251
00:11:54,536 --> 00:11:56,299
PEELE: Death throes?

252
00:11:56,405 --> 00:11:59,704
<i>Herr</i> Muller, what is wrong with you?

253
00:11:59,775 --> 00:12:01,606
Those are not death throes!

254
00:12:01,977 --> 00:12:03,877
You are being an idiot!

255
00:12:10,185 --> 00:12:12,881
Insubordinate and churlish.

256
00:12:15,424 --> 00:12:16,516
Pity.

257
00:12:17,826 --> 00:12:19,919
This is the best part of the story.

258
00:12:20,061 --> 00:12:22,495
As Hitler was taking his leave of me, he said,

259
00:12:22,564 --> 00:12:25,294
"Well, there's no point in getting bread,
if you're not going to get..."

260
00:12:25,367 --> 00:12:26,561
And at the same time

261
00:12:26,635 --> 00:12:28,626
Hitler said "Cheese," I said "Cheese."

262
00:12:28,703 --> 00:12:30,967
And then, Hitler and I both said, "Jinx."

263
00:12:31,072 --> 00:12:33,597
Well, it was just, like, two regular,
everyday peoples.

264
00:12:33,675 --> 00:12:36,075
You guys missed the first part,
but this is all about Hitler.

265
00:12:39,147 --> 00:12:41,012
So, you was, you was a player.

266
00:12:41,082 --> 00:12:45,018
You was a down doggie, rootin', tootin'...

267
00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:46,753
I was a down doggie player, yes.

268
00:12:46,822 --> 00:12:48,585
I mean, before you were married,
you were like...

269
00:12:48,657 --> 00:12:50,181
<i>(VOCALIZING)

270
00:12:52,527 --> 00:12:54,495
- Not a lot of the blips.
- No blips.

271
00:12:54,563 --> 00:12:57,054
You know, I would date a girl for a long time,
and then there'd be, like,

272
00:12:57,132 --> 00:12:58,861
little segments in the middle where,
you know,

273
00:12:58,934 --> 00:13:00,424
a lot of stuff would happen
with a lot of people.

274
00:13:00,502 --> 00:13:02,197
- (VOCALIZES)
- You know?

275
00:13:02,637 --> 00:13:04,104
College was fun, I'm not gonna lie.

276
00:13:04,172 --> 00:13:05,571
- College was fun. It was a fun time.
- Yep. Yep.

277
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:07,767
Time of exploration, time of scampsloracious.

278
00:13:08,009 --> 00:13:10,409
I mean, college is different,
different for everybody.

279
00:13:10,479 --> 00:13:13,073
It is. It is different for everybody.
Some people go there, and they study.

280
00:13:13,148 --> 00:13:15,844
But it was, it was... Which is interesting.

281
00:13:15,951 --> 00:13:18,715
- But I, personally...
- Tried to study.

282
00:13:18,787 --> 00:13:19,776
They try to study.

283
00:13:19,855 --> 00:13:22,585
'Cause there's, you know,
some people can't study when

284
00:13:22,657 --> 00:13:26,093
there are other people banging,
banging, banging, banging,

285
00:13:26,161 --> 00:13:28,527
and getting laid all the time,

286
00:13:28,763 --> 00:13:30,560
outside your fucking...

287
00:13:30,632 --> 00:13:33,533
Your other side of the suite,
up at the bunk above you.

288
00:13:33,602 --> 00:13:35,433
- Inside of your suite.
- (WHISTLES) Hello.

289
00:13:37,806 --> 00:13:39,706
<i>(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

290
00:13:39,808 --> 00:13:41,469
<i>(CROWD CHATTERING)

291
00:13:53,955 --> 00:13:55,115
<i>(CLEARS THROAT)

292
00:13:55,991 --> 00:13:57,288
Hey. What...

293
00:13:57,592 --> 00:13:58,991
What can I get you?

294
00:13:59,060 --> 00:14:02,427
Hello, sir. I would like a rum and coke.

295
00:14:03,398 --> 00:14:05,263
Rum and coke coming up.

296
00:14:06,067 --> 00:14:07,466
<i>(GROANING)

297
00:14:10,906 --> 00:14:12,271
Ahhh, hey.

298
00:14:12,774 --> 00:14:14,298
Where you from?

299
00:14:16,211 --> 00:14:17,678
All right, baby.

300
00:14:17,746 --> 00:14:19,441
I'm gonna see you on the dance floor, girl.

301
00:14:19,981 --> 00:14:22,211
Oh! Ah.

302
00:14:22,651 --> 00:14:24,482
Here's rum and coke. It's gonna be $8.

303
00:14:24,553 --> 00:14:25,884
$8, all right, my good man.

304
00:14:25,954 --> 00:14:27,182
Let me...

305
00:14:27,889 --> 00:14:29,151
<i>(EXHALES)

306
00:14:29,658 --> 00:14:31,023
<i>(SCREAMING)

307
00:14:32,227 --> 00:14:33,717
Wallet, yeah!

308
00:14:33,795 --> 00:14:35,990
- (SHUSHES)
- Whoo!

309
00:14:36,064 --> 00:14:37,793
Let me, I'mma got it. I got it.

310
00:14:37,866 --> 00:14:39,629
- Fuck!
- Oh! Shh!

311
00:14:39,701 --> 00:14:42,261
- Aw, fuck, my wallet!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, come on.

312
00:14:42,337 --> 00:14:44,100
- Hey, you all right?
- Okay, I'm...

313
00:14:44,172 --> 00:14:45,662
- You all right?
- Whew!

314
00:14:45,740 --> 00:14:48,573
<i>(LAUGHS) I tell you what.
Third time's the charm, brother.

315
00:14:48,810 --> 00:14:50,072
<i>(PANTING)

316
00:14:50,845 --> 00:14:52,210
<i>(SCREAMING)

317
00:14:54,382 --> 00:14:56,111
You want some help? There it is.

318
00:14:56,184 --> 00:14:57,242
- There it is.
- Yeah, yeah.

319
00:14:57,319 --> 00:14:58,809
Yeah, just take the card out.

320
00:14:58,887 --> 00:15:01,048
Keep that open for me.
Can you hang on to that for me?

321
00:15:01,122 --> 00:15:02,180
Will do.

322
00:15:02,257 --> 00:15:04,020
In fact, let me get a tequila shot, brother.

323
00:15:04,326 --> 00:15:05,850
Actually, make it two, man.

324
00:15:05,927 --> 00:15:08,327
One for me, and one for you, my good man.

325
00:15:08,396 --> 00:15:10,159
- (SCREAMS)
- All right.

326
00:15:11,933 --> 00:15:14,026
Two tequila shots coming right up.

327
00:15:14,135 --> 00:15:15,124
How you doing, girl?

328
00:15:16,171 --> 00:15:18,696
All right, nectar of the gods up in here.

329
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:21,502
- All right.
- All right, let's get that going down.

330
00:15:21,676 --> 00:15:22,768
All right, cheers.

331
00:15:22,844 --> 00:15:24,744
- Yeah, man. Cheers.
- All right, here we go.

332
00:15:26,815 --> 00:15:27,873
<i>(SCREAMS)

333
00:15:29,017 --> 00:15:30,109
Whoo!

334
00:15:30,585 --> 00:15:31,574
Ahhh!

335
00:15:31,653 --> 00:15:33,052
No, no, hold on.

336
00:15:33,121 --> 00:15:34,486
There's more than one way to skin a cat.

337
00:15:34,556 --> 00:15:35,648
You want some help with that?

338
00:15:35,724 --> 00:15:36,918
Hold up, let me just try to get up in here.

339
00:15:37,192 --> 00:15:38,454
<i>(SCREAMS)

340
00:15:39,461 --> 00:15:41,793
- Oh, that's...
- Oh, that's burning my tongue.

341
00:15:41,863 --> 00:15:43,558
- You know what?
- What? Ahhh.

342
00:15:43,632 --> 00:15:44,656
I'm gonna get you one of these.

343
00:15:44,733 --> 00:15:45,791
- Yeah?
- Try that.

344
00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:47,834
There we... All right. Hell, you a genius.

345
00:15:47,936 --> 00:15:49,460
Let me get this going on here.

346
00:15:50,605 --> 00:15:51,697
Okay.

347
00:15:54,776 --> 00:15:56,573
- You just... There you go.
- Mmm-hmm.

348
00:15:59,547 --> 00:16:01,845
Whoo! <i>Vaya con Dios,</i> my darling.

349
00:16:01,916 --> 00:16:02,905
- That's...
- All right.

350
00:16:02,984 --> 00:16:04,144
Whoo! All right.

351
00:16:04,219 --> 00:16:05,652
- <i>Muchas gracias</i>
- Yup.

352
00:16:06,588 --> 00:16:07,885
- Hey.
- Yeah.

353
00:16:08,123 --> 00:16:09,613
<i>(GRUNTS) Uh-huh?

354
00:16:09,691 --> 00:16:11,090
So, I'm worried about you.

355
00:16:11,159 --> 00:16:12,558
Oh, no, I'm gonna tell you
what I'm worried about.

356
00:16:12,627 --> 00:16:16,358
I'm worried that this club ain't popping off
the way it should be! What? What?

357
00:16:16,431 --> 00:16:18,592
<i>(SCREAMS) 'Cause I... Wait a second.

358
00:16:18,667 --> 00:16:20,601
- (RAP SONG PLAYING)
- What? Uh-oh.

359
00:16:20,669 --> 00:16:22,261
DJ, turn it up!

360
00:16:22,337 --> 00:16:23,804
That's my track right there.

361
00:16:23,872 --> 00:16:24,896
Uh-huh.

362
00:16:24,973 --> 00:16:27,100
What it is!

363
00:16:27,575 --> 00:16:28,940
<i>(SCREAMING)

364
00:16:32,947 --> 00:16:34,414
<i>(GRUNTS) Ugh! Oh!

365
00:16:34,482 --> 00:16:35,744
<i>(LAUGHS)

366
00:16:35,817 --> 00:16:37,842
<i>(TRILLS TONGUE AND LAUGHS)

367
00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:41,318
Hey, man, a bar is not the place
for you to be right now.

368
00:16:41,423 --> 00:16:42,788
<i>(SCREAMS)

369
00:16:44,926 --> 00:16:47,087
Whoo, whoo.

370
00:16:47,729 --> 00:16:49,287
Let me, let me get two more shots of tequila.

371
00:16:49,364 --> 00:16:51,628
Uh-uh.
Sorry, pal, you're 86'ed.

372
00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:53,190
What? How? What now?

373
00:16:53,268 --> 00:16:54,496
- And what, that's preposterous.
- Let's go, buddy.

374
00:16:54,569 --> 00:16:55,968
<i>(SCREAMS)

375
00:16:58,073 --> 00:16:59,472
Be, be gentle with him.

376
00:16:59,874 --> 00:17:01,569
- Right this way.
- Aye! Aye! Ahhh!

377
00:17:02,711 --> 00:17:04,611
Oh, it hurts all over!

378
00:17:04,679 --> 00:17:06,203
<i>(SCREAMS) How you doing, girl?

379
00:17:08,283 --> 00:17:11,480
BARTENDER: First time, I think was, like, '87.

380
00:17:11,820 --> 00:17:15,278
It was two guys in a heavyweight bout. Yeah.

381
00:17:15,957 --> 00:17:18,391
No, it was the first time in a heavyweight bout,

382
00:17:18,460 --> 00:17:20,928
that the two fighters
ended up getting married.

383
00:17:22,797 --> 00:17:24,662
<i>(SPANISH ACCENT) Hello, my good sir.

384
00:17:25,100 --> 00:17:28,797
I'd like to have two shots of tequila.

385
00:17:33,141 --> 00:17:35,439
<i>(SCREAMS) Come on, brother!

386
00:17:35,510 --> 00:17:37,000
<i>(GROANS) Why you gotta...

387
00:17:37,112 --> 00:17:38,943
- Oh, Mark.
- Oh, man, that hurts.

388
00:17:46,654 --> 00:17:47,916
<i>(SIGHS)

389
00:17:54,996 --> 00:17:56,088
<i>(BICYCLE BELL RINGS)

390
00:18:08,910 --> 00:18:11,936
Oh, there you are, Cedric.

391
00:18:12,981 --> 00:18:14,039
'Sup, dude?

392
00:18:14,115 --> 00:18:16,174
'Tis well, Cedric. 'Tis well.

393
00:18:16,251 --> 00:18:17,343
Yeah, can I ask you a question, man?

394
00:18:17,418 --> 00:18:18,578
- Mmm?
- Um,

395
00:18:19,154 --> 00:18:21,349
why the hell are you dressed like this?

396
00:18:21,556 --> 00:18:23,751
And what the hell did you do to your bike?

397
00:18:23,825 --> 00:18:25,224
You ain't heard?

398
00:18:25,293 --> 00:18:27,022
I'm steampunk now.

399
00:18:27,395 --> 00:18:29,260
Yeah, I don't know what that is, man.

400
00:18:31,032 --> 00:18:32,829
Jules Verne and shit.

401
00:18:34,903 --> 00:18:38,361
I seriously think that you
have cracked, man, all right?

402
00:18:38,439 --> 00:18:39,804
Like, in your mind.

403
00:18:39,941 --> 00:18:42,933
Nah, I ain't cracked up.

404
00:18:43,845 --> 00:18:46,405
- I live in a clock now.
- That's...

405
00:18:47,382 --> 00:18:50,317
Ah, umbrellas and blimps, nigga.

406
00:18:50,819 --> 00:18:54,084
You're wearing a top hat with a door on it.

407
00:18:56,157 --> 00:18:59,558
I'm just an ill-ass Lemony Snicket
up in this bitch.

408
00:18:59,661 --> 00:19:02,357
But you, what's with you?

409
00:19:02,430 --> 00:19:04,193
What's with me? I'll tell you what I'm.

410
00:19:04,265 --> 00:19:06,825
I'm a ill-ass normal motherfucker

411
00:19:06,901 --> 00:19:09,426
who been waiting for his friend for a hour
and ten minutes

412
00:19:09,504 --> 00:19:11,563
underneath a God damn bridge

413
00:19:11,639 --> 00:19:13,334
with two homeless niggas.

414
00:19:13,408 --> 00:19:17,003
Perchance, good sir,
could you point me in the direction

415
00:19:17,078 --> 00:19:18,978
of the nearest apothecary?

416
00:19:20,114 --> 00:19:23,481
If you're talking about the drug store,
it's right there on the corner.

417
00:19:23,585 --> 00:19:27,043
- What time does it close?
- It closes at 10:00, man.

418
00:19:27,121 --> 00:19:28,645
You've been there 1,000,000 times.

419
00:19:28,723 --> 00:19:31,419
Hmm, I'll check just to be sure.

420
00:19:31,492 --> 00:19:34,359
- Make sure it's still open.
- I'm telling you, Levi,

421
00:19:34,429 --> 00:19:36,920
if you put that piece of pipe up to your eye

422
00:19:36,998 --> 00:19:39,694
and use it as a telescope,
I cannot be your friend anymore.

423
00:19:40,501 --> 00:19:43,800
- This...
- Yup. Still open.

424
00:19:43,872 --> 00:19:46,170
All right, I have to go then, so...

425
00:19:46,608 --> 00:19:48,701
- You try it.
- No, no.

426
00:19:48,776 --> 00:19:51,768
I'm not gonna try it
because it's a piece of pipe,

427
00:19:51,846 --> 00:19:53,746
and it doesn't have any lenses in it.

428
00:19:53,815 --> 00:19:55,908
Therefore, it's not a telescope!

429
00:19:56,017 --> 00:19:58,645
Yes, but how could you be sure?

430
00:20:01,022 --> 00:20:02,216
Science.

431
00:20:03,591 --> 00:20:05,183
I'm gonna look through this piece of pipe,

432
00:20:05,260 --> 00:20:07,387
and if it doesn't work like a telescope,

433
00:20:07,462 --> 00:20:08,895
then we finally done, man.

434
00:20:08,963 --> 00:20:10,988
Like, not homies anymore. We're done.

435
00:20:18,673 --> 00:20:20,140
Oh, Cedric.

436
00:20:20,508 --> 00:20:23,306
Why would you think

437
00:20:24,412 --> 00:20:26,209
in a million years

438
00:20:27,815 --> 00:20:29,680
that that would actually work?

439
00:20:30,118 --> 00:20:31,517
Cedric, it's just that

440
00:20:32,453 --> 00:20:34,614
you look so ridiculous right now.

441
00:20:35,256 --> 00:20:36,245
I look...

442
00:20:38,993 --> 00:20:40,722
I'm gonna... Hmm.

443
00:20:42,096 --> 00:20:44,724
<i>(SIGHS) Say good-bye, Ratatouille.

444
00:20:45,166 --> 00:20:47,634
What? What the fuck is that?

445
00:20:48,603 --> 00:20:50,798
- (RAT SQUEAKS)
- Oh, shit!

446
00:20:53,741 --> 00:20:56,335
PEELE: Can you imagine if we had
to fight in World War II?

447
00:20:56,411 --> 00:20:58,106
KEY: Jeez, we would not make it.

448
00:20:58,746 --> 00:21:00,145
We would not make it.

449
00:21:00,515 --> 00:21:02,540
<i>(SINGING) I'm gonna do my one line here.</i>

450
00:21:02,617 --> 00:21:03,982
MAN: Oh, yeah.

451
00:21:08,089 --> 00:21:09,522
Ooh, yeah!

452
00:21:09,590 --> 00:21:10,682
<i>(GROANS)

453
00:21:10,792 --> 00:21:12,123
<i>(SCREAMING)

454
00:21:15,363 --> 00:21:17,524
Ahhh! There it is!

455
00:21:17,999 --> 00:21:19,660
<i>(SCREAMS)